Ashton Kutcher Beats CNN on Twitter

Ashton beat CNN on Twitter.
One million followers. Consider:
Anyone can tweet
Every time they eat—
And each time they go to the shitter.

Joe Biden’s German Shepherd

Joe Biden’s kids got a shepherd,
only to find themselves peppered
with angry “tut, tuts”
from activist nuts
You’d think that they purchased a leopard.

Hermione

As soon as I saw Harry Potter,
I knew that no one was hotter.
My love for Miss Granger
Has put me in danger:
That jail-baiting hot muggle daughter!

By guest poet Jason Slayton

Brothers and Sisters (Soap Opera): II

The eldest son’s thiev’ry not merited,
A penchant for fraud he inherited.
Though he’s hardly a foil,
For no-one is loyal:
With “tell no one else!” always parroted.

By guest poet Corey Welton

Brothers and Sisters (Soap Opera): I

Five siblings, all past their prime,
Invariably awkward at times.
It appears that the unction
To resolve their dysfunctions
Is thorough applications of wine.

By guest poet Corey Welton

“My Life in Ruins”: Sequel to “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”

Lovely and eager and clever,
You thought “Greek Wedding” your lever
For box office breakthrough.
But now there’s part two?
We thought Greek love was forever.

Lost

I’ve turned to my next favorite show,
Lost. And for sure now I know
That they’re not as smart
(More matter less art)
When making it up as they go.

By guest poet Brandon Story

Battlestar Galactica

I have of late lost all my mirth
An emptiness grows of great girth.
Not even Obama
Can replace Adama
Since those motherfrakkers found Earth.

By guest poet Brandon Story

Twilight: Final Limerick

After 45 minutes of calm,
the bad vampire aped Bella’s mom.
Ballet arena,
Deus ex machina,
Then Edward took Bella to prom.

Twilight: Limerick II

So Bella begs Edward to turn her,
But he knows the life that would earn her:
Her skin cold as ice,
And dinners of mice,
And to dump her, he’d first have to burn her.